My Elusive Drug
by xoleanderx
Summary: After the death of Ryan's brother, Trey, a domino effect of destruction is sparked, sending Ryan into a downward spiral. A different version of what might have happened when Ryan found out Trey was out of jail in 'The Brothers Grim'.
1. Chapter 1

**Notes from the author:** I came up with the idea for this story a long time ago, and posted it a while ago also. But, when I was going through and reading it, I realized that, "Hey... this kinda sucks." So I deleted the entire thing off of and went through and revised. Some of the chapters will be very similar to what they used to be, but in other places, I added things and took some parts out. I hope I'll be able to attract some new readers to this story and keep some of my old ones ... if I had any, that is, lol.

**Disclaimer:** I am in no way affiliated with The OC, or anything else for that matter. So please don't sue, I don't have much to give except for six tattered Harry Potter books and a fat rabbit.

**Pairings**: Ryan/Marissa, maybe some Seth/Summer and Kirsten/Sandy – no fluff.

**Rating:** T for language and violence

**Summary:** The death of Ryan's brother, Trey, sparks a domino effect that will alter the Cohen's lives forever.

"_I'm not the same as I used to be_

_All the things you've heard seem hard to believe_

_Haven't always been good, never really been bad_

_Most times I've been happy, yea sometimes I've been sad_

_Sure I've made mistakes, haven't we all_

_I've been loose as a cannon and dumb as a wall_

_Haven't always been sober in counting my ducks_

_And if I look back now I've had my share of luck" _

– My Elusive Drug, Elton John

**My Elusive Drug**

The drive to the funeral home seemed to last only two minutes – though Ryan knew it was at least a good forty. He spent the whole time staring straight ahead at the leather back of the seat in front of him, hearing the soft background noise of the radio without really listening. If he was asked later what kind of music was playing, he wouldn't be able to answer.

His mother had agreed to have the funeral in La Habra, at a place whose name he couldn't remember. It was a bit further than they had wanted, but he had been told it was nice. Though it didn't really matter to him.

A ray of sunlight shined through the window, and he watched with mild interest at the tiny dust particles floating in the light. He felt the car pull to a stop, heard Sandy put the car into park and take the keys out before turning around, "We're here."

The building was small; the sign out front read Coleman Mortuary. As he opened the door and stepped out, he suddenly missed the cool air conditioning from inside the car. It had to be about ninety degrees out side, and it was stifling hot in the heavy black suit he wore. Sandy Cohen clapped a hand in his shoulder, "Ready kid?" He answered only with a nod, leading the way inside the building, met once again with a shot of cold air from the air conditioner.

He spotted his mother in the corner of the small room, wearing a simple black dress. As their eyes met, she offered a small, sad smile, which he didn't return, only took a deep breath before making his way over to her.

"Are you ready?" she whispered, and he nodded, finally speaking for the first time in an hour. "Yeah."

They had asked him if he wanted to speak at the funeral, and he agreed, now reaching a hand into his suit pocket and feeling the folded piece of paper where he had jotted down a few things to say. "To bad your dad can't be here…," his mother continued softly, taking a hand and rubbing it on his shoulder. He didn't resist, and nodded, remembering when he had to break the news to his father.

_The guard led him over to an empty seat as his stomach fluttered nervously. He hadn't seen his father for four years, and wondered if he would recognize him. Sitting down awkwardly on the stool, he looked up through the glass separating them, into the face of his father and hesitated a moment before taking the telephone off the hook and holding it up to his ear. Neither of them said anything for a moment._

"_Son …what brings you here?" the older man asked with a smug look on his face._

"_It's nice to see you too dad."_

_He kept his face impassive; he was only there to deliver the news, nothing else._

"_How long has it been now …two, three years?"_

"_Four."_

"_Really, that long? Huh …so why are you here? How's your mother, your brother? Did he do something stupid again? I be-,"_

"_He's dead, dad."_

The seats in the small room were uncomfortable; the backs were at a straight ninety-degree angle, forcing him into an awkward position. He tried to stay focused, however the minister's words went in one ear and out the other. Soon his mother was nudging his arm, and he stood up, making his way up to the podium.

"Ready?" the minister whispered as he passed by, and Ryan nodded, starting to get annoyed at everyone asking him if he was ready. He looked out over the podium, at the faces of the people sitting in front of him. Most were kids that looked to be in their early twenties, and he recognized most of them from their old neighborhood in Chino. Theresa and Arturo where nowhere to be seen, he knew the latter was in jail, and Theresa had to work.

His eyes landed on the Cohens. Sandy and Kirsten were sitting politely, and Seth had a look of obvious discomfort on his face. He had told them that they didn't have to come - it would probably be easier if they had just stayed home, but they refused. They wanted to be there for him.

Butterflies fluttered in his stomach, he had never been one for public speaking, and he now wished that he had never agreed to deliver the eulogy.

He pulled the crumpled paper out of his pocket as he began to speak into the microphone.

_A gentle tapping on the pool house door awoke Ryan, and he glanced at his clock. 10:36. _

_Tap tap tap. _

_He threw the covers off, slowly climbing to his feet and shuffling to the door, yanking it open and looking at Kirsten with his eyes half-shut, trying to block out the bright morning sun._

"'_Morning," she grinned, holding the phone out towards him. "Phone call for you."_

_Ryan took the phone, looking at it quizzically. He looked back up at Kirsten, who smiled warmly before turning back towards the house. No one ever called him._

"_Hello?" he asked hesitantly, holding the phone up to his ear and shutting the door behind him._

"_Ryan?"_

_He paused._

"_Trey?"_

"_Hey, Ryan! Haha, yeah, it's me!"_

_Pause. The last time his brother had called him from jail, he had wanted Ryan to get a stolen car for him. But now, Trey sounded ... happy._

"_Uh ... Trey ... what's the matter?"_

_Trey laughed, almost maniacally. "Nothin' man! I'm out!"_

_He almost dropped the phone._

"_What?"_

"_They put me on parole! I'm out!" his brother repeated._

_No response._

"_Ryan?"_

"_Uh, yeah Trey, I'm here. That's ... that's great."_

_He could hear his brother's voice get sharper._

"_Aren't you happy for me Ryan?"_

"_Yeah, yeah Trey, I am. Really, that's great." He tried to sound cheerful, and even plastered a grin on his face, even though he knew Trey couldn't see him._

"_Yeah, I know." A beat. "So, I was wondering. You think we could meet up or somethin'? I haven't seen you for, what is it now, a year and a half?"_

"_Yeah, something like that."_

"_So how 'bout it? Fred's Diner? Noon?"_

_Fred's Diner ... that had been the hang out spot back in Chino. So much had happened there. He'd smoked his first cigarette out back by the dumpster as Trey looked on proudly, and hit his back as he erupted into coughs._

"_Yeah, sure, sounds great."_

_"Awesome, I'll see you there!"_

"_Kay ... bye." But his brother had already hung up._

The service passed in a blur. As he sat back down in his uncomfortable chair, Kirsten Cohen flashed him a small smile from two seats down as his mother squeezed his arm gently, the corners of her mouth turned up in a sad, but proud grin. As he stood outside the door, people stopped to shake his hand, pat his back, tell him they were sorry for his loss.

He slid back into the cool seat of the car, Seth next to him. The boy had come to be his best friend, his brother. Though he knew he could never replace Trey. The two had grown up together, had been there for each other, and though Trey had talked Ryan into doing some pretty stupid things – stealing a car for instance – he knew that he had cared for him. And it was Ryan's fault that he was dead.

---

**Alright, love it? Hate it? Remember - a reviewed author is a happy author.**

**Next chapter should be posted soon, just finishing up some last-minute revisions.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes from the author:** Thank you for the reviews! I've added about six more paragraphs here, and changed some of the words around, so if you've read the old version of My Elusive Drug, you might notice some things that you haven't read before.

**Disclaimer:** I am in no way affiliated with The OC, or anything else for that matter. So please don't sue, I don't have much to give except for six tattered Harry Potter books and a fat rabbit.

**Pairings**: Ryan/Marissa, maybe some Seth/Summer and Kirsten/Sandy – no fluff.

**Rating:** T for language and violence

**Summary:** The death of Ryan's brother, Trey, sparks a domino effect that will alter the Cohen's lives forever.

"_Oh please don't cry  
I beg you not to weep  
You are your brother's keeper  
But your brother now, _ _your brother won't keep"_

- Brother's Keeper, Ingram Hill

**My Elusive Drug**

Ryan grabbed the seatbelt dangling next to him, the metal hot from the sun beating in through the window, and slid it into the buckle. His eyes slid back outside, watching as the people go into their respective cars, starting to flow out of the parking lot.

It was a two-minute drive; the cemetery was only two blocks over. The car pulled to a stop once more, and as Seth, Kirsten and Sandy opened their doors and stepped out, Ryan wished he could just sit in the car, with the air conditioning running, the radio on. Let them go to his brother's grave without him.

But he opened his door, stepping out into the sun again, and followed the group of people through the maze of tombstones. They stopped as the priest came into view, Trey's slick black casket hovering over the giant hole in the ground.

Ryan assumed the whole funeral service would be held graveside, he didn't expect many people to show up. He watched as the last of the funeral procession pulled into the parking lot. Who knew Trey was so... popular?

The service went by in a blur, as did the one in the funeral home. He stood in the back of the crowd, between Seth and Kirsten, the latter of which kept rubbing her hand up and down his back every few minutes.

As if the weather was a reflection of the feeling of the gathered crowed, the temperature suddenly dropped, a cloud moved in front of the sun and a boom of thunder echoed in the distance. It would rain soon, Ryan mused, glancing up at the dark sky, the gathering clouds.

As the people made their way to Trey's coffin, to say goodbye one last time, Ryan stayed in the back of group, next to his mother, as the Cohens stood politely to the side. At last he approached the casket, standing there looking at it for a few moments, not knowing what to say.

It seemed like an eternity that Ryan stood there in silence. Lightning cackled in the sky, and rain started drizzling. He shivered involuntarily, but kept his feet planted on the ground, his eyes unwavering from the sleek black casket.

His hair was soaking wet now, and he knew his new suit that the Cohens bought was getting ruined. He knew Kirsten would offer to drop it off at the dry cleaners tomorrow.

Kirsten's soft touch suddenly appeared on his back, holding an umbrella over his head and whispering comforting words in his ear that he couldn't hear as she started to guide him away, towards the car. Ryan wanted to push her away, yell and scream, run back towards his brother's coffin and say something inspiring, something heartfelt like they did in the movies.

But he allowed her to walk him back to his family.

_The small bell jingled overhead as Ryan entered the small diner; the aroma of hamburgers and chili fries was enough to make anyone drool._

"_Ryan!"_

_He was in a booth next to the window, and he stood up as Ryan approached. Trey grabbed his hand, giving Ryan a clap on the back, which he returned._

"_Hey man …here, here, sit down." He scuffled back into the booth, Ryan sliding in across from him._

_Trey looked him up and down, an ecstatic grin planted in his face._

"_You look good, bro, you look good."_

"_So do you, man," Ryan replied, already starting to feel comfortable, like it was old times, before AJ, before his mom kicked him out, before the Cohens. _

_Ten minutes later, Trey was still beaming as the two shoveled hamburgers and french fries into their mouths. The diner hadn't changed, and Ryan half expected Theresa to walk in, slide into the booth next to him and start innocently picking at his food._

"_So the Cohens, they're treating you good?" Trey asked, already taking the role of the protective older brother._

"_Oh, yeah, they're amazing," he replied._

"_That's good … sounds like you have the life there …"_

"_Uh …yeah …" Ryan confirmed, taking a swig of coke._

"_I wish my life was like that …you know? A mansion to live in, a real family, hot babes, all the money you want …" Trey took a bite of his hamburger. Ryan looked away awkwardly._

_"I'm living in this hell-hole, one room apartment," Trey continued. "There's one fucking bathroom on the whole floor, we got bugs and mice everywhere, I barely got enough money to make it through the week."_

"_Well …it'll get better …" Ryan offered lamely._

"_I doubt it," Trey said, shaking his head. "Who wants to give a job to a guy who just got outta jail?" He was rambling like Seth now. "I got a bunch of assholes who live in the apartment above me, I can never get a minute of sleep. I don't have any money, the only cash I have I gotta use for food and clothes! And I only got that 'cause Johnny's been willing to give me part of his stash to sell if I help set up his apartment for him, but who knows how long that's gonna last."_

_Ryan put back the french fry that was halfway to his mouth. "Stash?"_

"_Oh, uh … yeah …" Trey looked like he didn't want that little bit of information being slipped out. "He's just a guy I met, and he knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy, you know that kind of thing," Trey explained casually, trying to wipe it off as nothing. "He just moved into his apartment the floor below mine, and I've been giving him a hand setting it up, painting here and there, and he's been slippin' me an ounce or so. He says I can do what I want with it, I figure I can get some quick cash …you know? You just need to know where to go." He scratched the back of his head awkwardly._

"_Uh … yeah …I guess."_

"_You won't tell anyone, will you Ry?" Trey asked, half pleading. "This is all I got. C'mon, what's it gonna hurt?" He gave Ryan a playful hit on the arm._

"_Oh …no … I won't tell anyone. Uh, don't worry," Ryan blurted out, awkwardly shoving a fry into mouth._

_"Heeeey, that's what brother's are for right?" Trey said, the grin coming back as he reached across the table to playfully ruffle Ryan's hair._

The ride back home was even more uncomfortable than the one to La Habra. As they neared Newport, Sandy spoke up, eyeing Ryan in the mirror. "So, do you boys want to stop anywhere to eat? It's a quarter to six, we could have an early dinner if you like."

Seth glanced at Ryan, giving a shrug, silent for once.

Ryan's gaze didn't waver from the window. "No thanks."

Ryan climbed out of the car before Sandy even took the key out of the ignition, slamming the door behind him and loosening his tie as he made his way past the main house. Pushing open one of the double doors to the pool house, he kept the lights off, closing the blinds and enveloping the room in darkness, the only light was the rays of setting sun making their way through the cracks in the shutters.

---

**millstone1005:** Thanks for reviewing! Glad to know that I've kept some of my old readers.

**Lara:** I'm sorry you don't like the flashbacks, I try to insert them into the fic to help tell the story, and explain a bit more of what was happening between Ryan and Trey before he died. And, hmm, I'm not sure about if Ryan knows where his dad is, but I just felt I should've added that in there, but know that that's the only flashback about his dad that I plan on having in the story. Thanks for reviewing, and I hope you keep reading!

**jenskyies:** Oh, I'm glad you reviewed, lol. I love getting reviews, and just to know that I really did have readers makes me feel so much better, haha. Hope I see some more reviews of yours!

**slimkay:** Thanks so much for reviewing, and I'll try to get more chapters up as fast as I can!

**As for the rest of you reading this and not reviewing, remember, a reviewed author is a happy author!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes from the author:** Okay guys, I know you're reading because I can see the stats, so please, please drop a review. It may seem nothing to you, but it really means a lot when I know that people actually care enough to let me know that I'm doing something right. Or wrong. Or anything. If you don't like something, tell me! I don't mind flames. Okay, maybe they're not the best thing to hear, but at least people will tell me if they don't like something. I try to review every fan fic that I read in hopes that people would do the same for me. I even appreciate a short, "I like it" or "Please continue". And I do accept anonymous reviews, by the way. Anyway, that's enough pleading for now, lol, on with the chapter...

**Disclaimer:** I am in no way affiliated with The OC, or anything else for that matter. So please don't sue, I don't have much to give except for six tattered Harry Potter books and a fat rabbit.

**Pairings:** Ryan/Marissa, maybe some Seth/Summer and Kirsten/Sandy – no fluff.

**Rating:** T for language and violence

**Summary:** The death of Ryan's brother, Trey, sparks a domino effect that will alter the Cohen's lives forever.

_I've tried everything but somehow  
You find a way to shut me out  
This time maybe you will let me  
Get inside your mind, inside your mind _

Somewhere behind your silent eyes  
There's a story  
I swear that I can help you write  
The perfect ending

- Inside Your Mind, Justincase

My Elusive Drug

"Ryan?" Soft tapping on the glass to the doors.

Tap, tap, tap.

Maybe if he didn't answer, she would go away.

Tap, tap, tap.

Guess not.

"Yeah," Ryan called, annoyed, not wanting to leave the warm comfort of his bed. The door squeaked open, in walked Kirsten Cohen, a plate in hand. "Oh sorry sweetie, were you sleeping?"

He reached over to flick on the bedside lamp, "No, it's fine."

"I brought you a sandwich," Kirsten offered, setting it down on the table. "Don't worry, Sandy made it," she joked, and he forced a smile, irritated by her presence. Go away. Leave me alone.

"You know," she started, coming over to sit on the edge of his bed. Ryan propped himself up on his pillows to look at her, wishing she would just leave. "If you ever want to talk -,"

Oh god, the 'We're here for you' speech.

"- I, Sandy and I, we're here for you." He forced another small smile, tried to look grateful, nodded. She patted his leg. "I'll see you in the morning, sweetie." Getting up, she made her way over to the door, gently closing it behind her.

Thank god. Ryan flopped back down onto his pillows, eyeing the sandwich. His stomach rumbled, but he was too tired to pull himself out of the comfort of his bed. Instead, he reached over to flick off the lamp and buried himself under the covers once more.

"Is Ryan up yet?" Seth asked eagerly as he came into the kitchen the next morning, opening the cabinets and pulling out a box of Cap'n Crunch. Kirsten shook her head over her coffee cup, "I think he's still in bed."

"Oh." He pulled out a bowl and spoon, struggling to balance them in one hand and open the fridge to grab the carton of milk at the same time.

"Let him rest, son," Sandy commented from behind the sports section. "He's been through an ordeal."

"I know, I know," Seth responded, half whining, as he dumped the contents of his arms onto the counter, pouring himself a bowl of cereal.

His eyes wandered out the window above the sink at the pool house. The blinds were shut. Ryan didn't sleep in, he was always up early, even when they had no school. Sure, his brother had died, but things would still be the same, right? Ryan would still be the same old brooding, fist-fighting Ryan who played Play Station with Seth and listened to his rambles about Summer. Seth took a bite of cereal and perched himself on top of his usual stool.

"Hey." Ryan opened the sliding glass doors, coming into the kitchen, already dressed as he sat down on a stool next to Seth, who was still in his pajamas and robe.

"Hey dude!" Seth greeted, a bit over-cheerfully, earning him a 'look' from Kirsten.

"Morning sweetie," Kirsten smiled warmly. "Want me to make you some breakfast? Eggs? Bacon?"

Seth snorted, stifling a laugh into his bowl, "Not unless you want to poison him." Sandy and Ryan smirked as Kirsten glared. "No thanks," Ryan responded, taking a bowl and spoon from the drawer and grabbing the red box of cereal from in front of Seth.

"Hey!" Seth exclaimed, looking up at Ryan. "I was looking at that!" Ryan glanced at the box then back at Seth. "You were finding the way to the Captain's magical cereal treasure chest?"

Now it was Kirsten's turn to smirk. "Yes," Seth grumbled, snatching the box back as soon as Ryan poured himself a bowl.

"So, dude, up for a bit of sailing today?" Seth asked, nudging Ryan with his elbow a few moments later. "The water's perfect and the beach will be flocked with girls in bikinis!"

Kirsten looked over at him, "I don't know if Ryan's up for sailing today, Seth," she interjected.

"No, it's fine," Ryan said, annoyed. "Sailing sounds great."

"Awesome." Silence fell over the boys. "Okay then! I'll go get dressed and we'll go!" Seth pushed himself off of his stool, dumping the remains of his cereal into the sink.

Fearing another 'We're-here-for-you' speech, Ryan, too, slid off his stool and placed his bowl in this sink as Seth ascended up the stairs. "I'm just gonna go ... outside ...," he stuttered, as he guestured randomly out the window and hurried out.

"I'm worried about him Sandy," Kirsten said as soon as Ryan left, her eyes following the boy as he made his way back to the pool house.

Sandy sighed, putting down his paper. "He's a tough kid Kirsten, he knows that we're here for him, but Ryan's not really the talkative type."

Kristen snorted, "You think?" Sandy came behind her, wrapping his arms around her. "He'll come to us when he's ready."

Ryan made his way bac to the pool house, slamming the door behind him and collapsing on top of his bed. In truth, he didn't want to go sailing. He didn't want to sit in the kitchen with the Cohens and eat Cap'n Crunch and pretend that everything was just dandy. He didn't want to leave the pool house. He wanted to lay in bed, in the dark, and brood.

"Hey, Ryan!" Tap, tap, tap. God, that tapping could drive a man crazy. "Ryyyyyan! You in there, buddy?" The door opened and Seth poked his head in. "Hey dude, c'mon, let's go!" Ryan forced a smile, standing up and walking past Seth out the door.

---

**Eh? Pleeaasseee review (see above Notes from the author), because a reviewed author is a happy author! **

But...

I did have one review!

**slimkay**: Thank you oodles! You're my new favorite person, hehe. And the story shall develop... I think... I really am making this up as I go along, hehe.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes from the author:** I'm so sorry for making you all wait this long for a chapter. I admit I can't offer up a better excuse than I've been busy with many other things in my life right now… and I'm just a lazy and procrastinating person. Euugh. Not much I can say about this chapter. But please continue to review. You don't want me to beg again, do you?

**Disclaimer:** I am in no way affiliated with The OC, or anything else for that matter. So please don't sue, I don't have much to give except for six tattered Harry Potter books and a fat rabbit.

**Pairings:** Ryan/Marissa, maybe some Seth/Summer and Kirsten/Sandy – no fluff.

**Rating:** T for language and violence

**Summary:** The death of Ryan's brother, Trey, sparks a domino effect that will alter the Cohen's lives forever.

_Welcome to my wonderful world of pain and agony  
Let me introduce myself my name is tragedy  
The kind that sneaks into your bedroom late at night  
The kind that makes an airplane crash while it's in flight  
I'm the type of stress that'll make your heart skip a beat  
The type that left you hungry and homeless on the street  
The kind that makes you spin like CD ROM  
I took the life from your body 'till your spirit is gone  
I'm the type that turns your fantasies to bad dreams  
I'm the type to turn ideas into deadly schemes  
I'm the kind that caused you pain until you blacked out  
I'm the last thing you saw before you passed out_

- Behind Closed Doors, Project Wyze

My Elusive Drug

A warm breeze blew by, whipping Ryan's hair around and causing the boat to rock back and forth as water lapped at the sides. Ryan unconsciously grasped the railing as the boat lurched - he never did like sailing much. Seth had always teased him about his nervousness, but now the boy was silent.

The awkward silence between the two had been going on since they had set sail. Seth squirmed. If there was anything he hated more than awkward silences, it was awkward silences with Ryan. Much to his dismay, Seth feared that Trey's death would be a bump in their friendship that would take more than a sailing trip to patch up. Sighing inwardly, Seth turned the boat around, starting to head back to shore.

As Seth tied up the Summer Breeze to the dock, he glanced up at Ryan, squinting against the sun. "Dude, you know if you ever want to... you know... talk..."

Ryan grimaced. Not this from Seth too. Though, before he had a chance to say anything in response, Marissa's voice called from across the beach.

"Ryan! Seth!" They both turned as she came bounding up to them, blond hair flailing behind her in the warm summer wind. "Hey Marissa," Seth greeted, raising a hand in a slight wave before turning back to the boat.

"Hey," Ryan said, managing as smile as his girlfriend looked up at him. "Hey," she repeated. "How are you holding up?"

Ryan shrugged. Did she really want to know what he was feeling? The curtain of guilt that had been draped over him since his brother's death? The annoyance of the Cohen's constant attempts to "help" and the guilt he later felt about not being grateful for it? "I'm okay."

She knew he wasn't telling her the whole truth... nothing was ever just "okay" with Ryan Atwood. Ryan sighed. "Really, I'm fine." He smiled, but it didn't reach up to his eyes.

"Okay...," Marissa replied, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "But know I'm here if you want to -"

"Talk?" he finished her sentence for her. "Yeah, I know." He grinned playfully.

"Okay guys!" Seth exclaimed, turning around and pretending that he hadn't been eavesdropping. "What do you say to a bite to eat at the Crab Shack?"

"Actually, I should probably get home," Marissa said with a small sigh. "Caleb just came home from a business trip in Washington, and my mom wants to plan something 'special'."

"Ah," Seth nodded and Ryan gave her a quick kiss. "I'll talk to you later." Marissa nodded and smiled at him, though Ryan could tell she was worried about him.

As Marissa departed, Seth looked to Ryan. "So, my friend, it's down to us once again. The two amigos, partners in crime, Obi Wan and Anakin... before he turns into Vader... because then that wouldn't really work. Up for a little king crab?" He rubbed his hands together and nudged Ryan with his elbow. "Perhaps some shrimp cocktail?"

Ryan looked to him with eyebrows raised. "Uh huh... um, not really. Wanna just head home?"

Seth gave a half nod. "Home, yes, let us go home. We'll play my new Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction game."

Ryan snorted, shoving Seth to the side as they made their way up the beach.

_"Go ahead, say it," Trey said, walking past Ryan who was standing in the doorway to his apartment. Ryan glanced around the room that was smaller than the pool house. Half of it was devoted to a mini kitchen, in which Trey had just stomped in to, yanking open the handle to the mini fridge and pulling out two bottles of beer. _

_"It sucks ass," Trey finished, tossing a bottle towards Ryan. Ryan caught the chilled bottle in one hand as his eyes surveyed the apartment. A small television on a metal stand stood in the center of the room, facing a couch with the stuffing falling out of it. There was a scratched-up coffee table next to the couch, and a garbage can in the corner. One lone window was on the wall across from Ryan, facing the street. The apartment was only a twenty to thirty minute walk from their old neighborhood, five minutes from the notorious Fred's Diner._

_"It's not that bad," Ryan lied. Two years ago, having a place like this, a place of his own, would be like heaven to Ryan. Is this what living with the Cohens had done to him? Had the pool house, the Rage Rover, private school and black tie events become his life? His mother would have told him he was growing soft._

_Ryan made his way over to the window, looking out at the street. Three boys sped down the road on their hand-me-down bicycles, yelling and whooping at they made jumps and ramps out of old car parts and discarded junk they found in the streets. That was Ryan's life not too long ago. Before Theresa got pregnant. Before his mother abandoned him. Before Marissa, and before Seth. Before Newport and the world of the wealthy._

_"Going to the bathroom," Trey grunted from behind him, and Ryan heard the door open and slam shut. He didn't know how long he had been staring out the window, lost in thought, when a loud knock sounded on the door._

_Ryan glanced over his shoulder at the door. The banging knocks sounded again. He walked over to the door, setting his unopened beer bottle on the coffee table, and tugged at the handle._

_The man that stood before him wore a pair of baggy and torn jeans and a dirty white wife-beater - not unlike those that Seth called Ryan's "trademark". He smelled like cigarettes. "Trey here?"_

_Ryan eyed the man. "No. He'll be back soon." The man gave Ryan the once-over, then looked at him expectantly. "Gonna let me in or what?"_

_Ryan looked at him for a few seconds before stepping aside to allow the man in, and closed the door behind him. The two eyed each other before the man stuck out his hand. "I'm Johnny."_

_Johnny? The Johnny? The Giving-Trey-Drugs Johnny? Ryan clasped his hand. "Ryan." _

_An unkind grin slid onto Johnny's face. "Trey's baby brother, huh? He told me all about you." Johnny took a step towards Ryan, his eyes glinting. "Big fancy house in Newport, huh?" Ryan matched Johnny's glare._

_The door opened. Trey stood in the doorway, glancing between Ryan and Johnny. Johnny raised his eyebrows at Ryan before turning to face Trey and sliding a smirk on his face. "Yo, Trey. Got it all right here." Johnny reached into his back pocket as Trey closed the door behind him, shooting a look at Ryan. Johnny pulled out a small bag full of white powder, sliding it into Trey's outstretched hand._

---

**Julie:** Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm glad I have some readers! grin

**Kukka:** Oh, great you head you liked the old version. This chapter, chapter four, had a lot more changes done to it than the previous chapters, I hope all for the better. Thanks for the review, and for reading!

**amyordinary:** Glad you're enjoying it! Thanks for taking the time to press that little review button, it means so much to me!

**beachtree:** Ah, of course, a review by beachtree. I'm so glad you're reading this again. You're right, I didn't change most on chapter three, but I will be more on later chapters, definitely. I love how much you take my story and analyze it, and that you think I'm capturing Ryan's voice – I try really hard to make my characters as realistic as I can. Thanks for reviewing, I hope you keep it up! Teehee.

**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far! Sorry for such the long wait on this chapter, but I hope you keep leaving reviews for me. Even a simple, "I like it" makes me happy! Because remember (yes, I'm going to say this every chapter) – a reviewed author is a happy author!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes from the author:** Baaaaad me. I moved this story onto a hiatus and deserted all my readers and so now I have no reason to beg for reviews, so I won't. But it's not all my fault, I will say, because I've been trying to upload this chapter for the past week, and my Document Manager just hasn't been working, I don't know why. Just… yes… here's the next chapter, not much to say about it. It's chapter five – yay, and it's all new material, nothing from this chapter is from the last version, so anyone reading this who read My Elusive Drug version 1 will be happy. Reviews are always welcome and are very much appreciated.

**Disclaimer:** I am in no way affiliated with The OC, or anything else for that matter. So please don't sue, I don't have much to give except for six tattered Harry Potter books and a fat rabbit.

**Pairings**: Ryan/Marissa, maybe some Seth/Summer and Kirsten/Sandy – no fluff.

**Rating:** T for language and violence

**Summary:** The death of Ryan's brother, Trey, sparks a domino effect that will alter the Cohen's lives forever.

**My Elusive Drug**

The dinner table was unusually silent that night as the Cohens plus one silently chewed their carryout chicken. Or, at least, as the Cohens chewed their carry-out chicken. Ryan, on the other hand, just sort of moved it around on his plate and made mountains, valleys and rivers out of his mashed potatoes and gravy.

"You're not hungry Ryan?" Kirsten asked, glancing up from her dinner to eye the boy for the seventh time that evening.

"You should be starving," Seth piped in. "You didn't eat anything all day except breakfast."

Ryan shot Seth a half-glare, but the boy didn't notice.

"Are you feeling okay?" Kirsten asked, sounded concerned as she reached her hand out to feel Ryan's forehead. Ryan resisted the urge to jerk away.

"Hmm, you don't feel warm," Kirsten concluded, removing her hand.

"I'm fine," Ryan persisted. He paused, flinching as the words came out harsher than he meant them to. "I'm just going to go lie down," he finally added after a moment of silence as he started to stand up.

"You can just leave your plate by the sink," Sandy offered. "We'll put it in the fridge so that you can eat it later."

Ryan nodded. "Sure." He knew he wouldn't eat it later, but didn't feel like explaining this to Sandy, so he obediently placed his plate on the counter and slid open the door to the patio. Kirsten gave Sandy a pointed glance as Ryan closed the door behind him.

_The weeks following the Johnny incident, Ryan had been avoiding Trey. He still hadn't told the Cohens that his brother was out of jail; he had been planning on casually slipping it into the conversation at dinner one night, but now he didn't even know if he wanted to continue a relationship with his brother, who he had been so close to in their earlier years. Trey had been like his rock; they had stuck together through their father going to jail, through Dawn's numerous boyfriends, through it all. What was different now? Had Trey changed?... or had Ryan?_

_As if to convince himself that Newport hadn't made him soft, Ryan decided to forgive Trey. Whatever he wanted to do, well, that was his business. There was no reason why Ryan couldn't go visit him. And he did, quite a lot actually._

_After the eighth time that Ryan had told Seth that he couldn't hang out because he had other things to do, Seth had known something was up._

Ryan retreated into the pool house, flicking on the lights as he shut the door behind him. He stood against the doorframe, his piercing blue eyes staring out the window, across the patio and pool and through the window over the sink in the kitchen. He could see Sandy and Kirsten standing in front of the sink, looking in deep conversation. Kirsten paused, then turned to glance in Ryan's direction. Ryan pulled on the curtain string, letting the blinds fall in front of the window.

_Seth wandered into the pool house through the open doors, taking a few steps and glancing around. "Ryan?" _

_He heard the toilet flush from the bathroom and the running water of the sink, then the door opened and Ryan came out. "Hey," greeted Seth. "You wanna go meet the girls down by the beach? Summer just called and -"_

_"Actually," Ryan interrupted. "I can't, I sort of have other things to do." He shot Seth an apologetic look as he sat on the edge of the bed and slipped on his tennis shoes._

_"Okay, dude, what's going on?" Seth finally asked after staring at Ryan for a second._

_Ryan glanced up, "What?"_

_"You having all these other things to do lately. You've never had anything to do, what do you have to do?" _

_"...uh..." Ryan's eyes shifted around the room guiltily -- he had never been a good liar and Seth had always been able to see through him. He shrugged nonchalantly. "Nothing specific, you know, just a few errands."_

_"Errands. Uh huh." Seth nodded, his eyes searching Ryan's face. "What sort of errands?"_

_Ryan shrugged again, standing up as his eyes flickered around the room, avoiding Seth's. "Just… stuff."_

_Seth sighed. "Dude, whatever it is, you can tell me."_

"_Look Seth, it's not a big deal," Ryan sighed. "Trey got out of jail about six weeks ago and I've just been going to see him."_

"_Trey?" repeated Seth, sounding flabbergasted. "Like… your brother Trey?"_

"_No Seth," deadpanned Ryan. "A different Trey."_

"_Oh… okay…well, that's cool. Hanging out with your brother." Seth nodded, sounding almost a little hurt. "So, I'll just go -," he jerked a thumb over his shoulder, "- and, you know, do stuff, and you can…go…do other stuff…with Trey…" He turned to leave and Ryan sighed slightly, knowing Seth was feeling a little jealous. The two had been best friends, brothers in every way but blood, and now Ryan was spending time with Trey instead of him. But what was Ryan supposed to do?_

_Seth suddenly whipped back around. "Unless, that is, I come with you."_

_Ryan blinked. "What?"_

"_What, don't you think Trey will like me?" Seth joked nervously._

"_Seth, I don't think –"_

"_Aw, come on, man. Please? Pleeaasseee? Don't make me do the puppy dog eyes, Ryan, 'cause I will, I really will."_

_Ryan ran a hand through his hair. "Fine."_ _Seth beamed. "But just don't say anything stupid."_

"_Me? Please," Seth said, waving a hand dismissively as he followed Ryan out the door. "When am I ever anything but cool?"_

Kirsten sighed as she loaded the plates into the dishwasher. Behind her, Sandy placed Ryan's uneaten dinner – now wrapped in cellophane wrap – into the refrigerator. "What are we going to do, Sandy?" Kirsten questioned, glancing over her shoulder at her husband. "He's not eating, he hardly says a word, he's unusually pale and I doubt he's sleeping at all."

"What can we do?" Sandy sighed, turning to face her. "We can't force him to talk, you wanna send him to a shrink?"

"Well… no…," Kirsten said. "I doubt that would do any good. But what can we do to make him come to us? He knows we're here, doesn't he?"

Sandy walked up next to her, resting a hand on the counter next to the sink. "Ryan's a tough nut to crack," he admitted, giving a nod. "But his brother just died. We have to give him time."

"How much time?" Kirsten pressed on, staring into Sandy's eyes. "I don't think I can take this anymore, he's been like this ever since Trey died two weeks ago. He can't go on like this." She turned to look out the window at the pool house and was startled to find Ryan leaning against the doorframe, staring at the window back at her. A moment passed at the blinds fell in front of the glass. Hurt, Kirsten looked down back at the dishes, placing a glass a bit roughly into the dishwasher. What were they going to do?

---

**I got one review on chapter four, thank you so much to swenglish! I hope you're still reading.**

**(insert not-so-subtle point to the review button) Remember, a reviewed author is a happy author!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes from the author:** Wow, this is the fastest I think I've ever updated a story. Like, ever. And it's because of the amazing response I got to the previous chapter. Nine reviews in two days? I was shocked, I still am shocked. I never thought that my writing would be so popular. Thanks so much guys, and it just goes to show that reviews really do inspire me.

So, about this chapter. It's one of the longer chapters of this story, and there's a lot of flashbacks, sorry to those who are annoyed by them. I'm not actually a fan of flashbacks, and I find it really amusing that so much of my story is told in them. I'm just trying to get to Trey's death scene, which will be in the next chapter. And after I get that flashback done, I don't think there will be as many in later chapters. So that's enough from me, on with chapter six!

**Disclaimer:** I am in no way affiliated with The OC, or anything else for that matter. So please don't sue, I don't have much to give except for six tattered Harry Potter books and a fat rabbit.

**Pairings:** Ryan/Marissa, maybe some Seth/Summer and Kirsten/Sandy – no fluff.

**Rating:** T for language and violence

**Summary:** The death of Ryan's brother, Trey, sparks a domino effect that will alter the Cohen's lives forever.

**My Elusive Drug**

_Ryan pulled the Range Rover up to the crumbling apartment building, Seth peering anxiously out the window. As soon as Ryan put the car into park and pulled out the keys, Seth's hands reached for the door handle, like an overly excited kid. "Wait," Ryan said, and Seth glanced over his shoulder at him._

_"Don't worry dude," Seth said, smirking playfully at Ryan before he had a chance to speak. "I'll be cool."_

_Ryan sighed, getting out of the car and making sure he locked the door securely before sliding the keys into his pocket. You never could be too careful in this part of town._

_"Seth, calm down," Ryan called, the corners of his lips twitching up as Seth bounded towards the front doors. Seth paused, waiting for Ryan to catch up before opening the door. _

_The cheap air conditioning did little against the sweltering California heat and Ryan could feel the beads of perspiration on his hairline as he climbed the stairs. As they passed floor after floor, snippets of conversations, mostly arguments, made their way through the thin walls into Ryan's ears._

_"- YOUR LAZY ASS -"_

_"...the mustard? I thought you said it was in the fridge!..."_

_" - YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME LIKE THIS! WHAT ABOUT -"_

_"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU BASTARD!"_

_"The fucking cable's out again! I thought you called the...!"_

_Finally they reached the sixth floor. Seth had become unusually quiet, a dark contrast to the excited child he had been moments before. Ryan led to way to Trey's apartment at the end of the hall, pausing momentarily to glance at Seth. The two locked eyes for a second, Ryan silently telling Seth that this was his last chance to back out. When Seth said nothing, Ryan turned away and gave three hard knocks on the door. _

_There was no answer. _

_"Trey?" Ryan called. "It's Ryan, open up." He leaned slightly towards the door, trying to hear any sounds from inside. Behind him, Seth shifted his weight from foot to foot. Ryan knocked again. _

_"Maybe he's not home," Seth offered. A small crash from inside answered him, immediately followed by a grunt before the door swung open._

_Ryan's eyes roamed his brother's face. Trey looked at him with a lopsided grin, his eyes slightly bloodshot, and Ryan couldn't help but notice the slightly dilated pupils. Ryan felt his stomach tighten slightly, why had he let Seth come along?_

_"Hey bro," Trey grinned, reaching out a hand to pull Ryan inside. His eyes landed on Seth, standing nervously behind Ryan. "Who's this?"_

_Ryan glanced over his shoulder at Seth. "Trey, this is Seth, Seth, Trey." He turned back to fix Trey with a stern look, lowering his voice dangerously. "Look, I'm going to come back later -"_

_"Naw man, right now is fine," Trey laughed, grabbing Ryan's arm with one hand and the front of Seth's shirt with the other and yanking them both forcefully into the room. Seth stumbled slightly as Trey flung him towards the couch and kicked the door shut. _

_Ryan watched Trey as he hurriedly tried and failed to tidy up by re-adjusting the two pillows on the sofa and putting some empty beer cans from the coffee table next to the sink in the 'kitchen'. He seemed to have forgotten the smoking joint still sitting on the table. Seth caught Ryan staring at it, and slowly let his brown eyes follow his adopted brother's gaze, widening with realization._

_"Seth, right?" Trey had appeared at Seth's side. _

_"Uh, yeah," Seth squeaked._

_Trey barked a laugh, causing Seth to jump slightly, as he walked past him, flopping down on the couch and grabbing the joint off the table. He raised it to his lips, taking a long puff. Seth and Ryan glanced at each other before staring at Trey. Feeling their eyes on him, the oldest Atwood glanced up and held the joint out to Seth, then Ryan, and then Seth again. "Want some, man?"_

"_No Trey, he doesn't want some," Ryan snapped distastefully. He had seen his brother high before, hell, he'd even joined him once in a while, but now that Seth was here, it was different._

"_Chill out dude," Trey snorted._

_Ryan clenched his fists, feeling rage spark somewhere inside him and not knowing why. Seth caught his eye, looking uneasy, and Ryan saw the boy's eyes flicker towards the door for an instant, as if plotting a quick escape and Ryan knew that this was enough. _

"_Let's go," he nodded to Seth, striding forward and yanking open the door. _

_"Ryan, wait," sounded Trey's voice from the couch, but Ryan ignored him, holding the door open for Seth to pass by. One hand on the door, Ryan glanced over his shoulder for a brief second to see Trey's doped-up form struggling to get off the couch before slipping out the door and pulling it closed behind him._

"No…Trey…please…" Ryan hovered over his brother's bruised and bloody body, pressing his hands against the wound in an attempt to stop the bleeding. Trey's eyes were glazed as they tried to focus on Ryan's face. "Just stay with me Trey," Ryan continued, panic taking over his voice, "It'll be fine, d –"

Dadada dadada dada da da da, dadada dadada dada da da da

The William Tell Overture chimed from Ryan's nightstand, awakening him from his dream … nightmare ...

His hand shot out from under the blanket, groping around on the tabletop until it finally rested on the vibrating cell phone. Ryan kept his eyes shut as he flipped it open, pulling it back under the covers and holding it to his ear. "…Hello?"

"Ryan?" The voice on the other end was hoarse and shaking.

"...Mom?"

"Yeah, baby, it's me, it's Mom."

He pushed himself out from under the blanket, blinking a few times to focus his tired eyes on the digital clock that sat on the night table. The glowing red numbers told him it was twenty-four minutes past one in the morning. The moon shone brightly outside, its light seeping in through the blinds and making patters on Ryan's bedspread.

Ryan stifled a yawn. "Mom, it's one thirty in the morning." He didn't want to deal with this right now.

"Why couldn't you save him?" Dawn whimpered on the other end, and it was then that he noticed her words slurring together. When Ryan didn't answer, she continued. "Trey was your brother, Ry, why couldn't you save him?"

Ryan felt a lump form in his throat. Dawn was obviously drunk, or stoned, or both. He told himself not to listen to her, that she didn't mean it. She had told him when they made the funeral arrangements that she didn't blame him.

When he spoke, his voice was thick and didn't sound like his own. "Mom, I -"

Dawn cut him off, her voice now coming out in a high-pitched yell. "Why didn't you save him Ryan, huh! He was my first born and now he's gone!" Ryan's stomach twisted in knots as he gripped the phone tighter in his fist. He heard a choked sob, followed by a hiccup. "He's dead! He's dead! HE'S DEAD RYAN BECAUSE YOU COULN'D SAVE HIM! YOU -" Ryan slapped the phone shut, staring at it in fury with half a mind to chuck it across the room.

It was just Dawn's drunken blabber... she didn't know what she was talking about... right?

_The car ride home was silent, the tension in the air thick enough to cut with a knife. The sun was just starting to set when the Range Rover pulled back up into the driveway. Ryan and Seth sat in silence. _

_"So that was Trey," Seth finally spoke, staring straight ahead. Ryan couldn't help the small smirk that slowly appeared on his lips. "Yeah."_

_Seth chuckled and the silence returned. Ryan took the keys out of the ignition._

_"I won't tell my parents," Seth said and Ryan turned to glance at him. "I mean, if you don't want them to know about Trey, I'll tell them that we were hanging out with Summer and Marissa."_

_"Thanks," Ryan said after a second. Seth nodded. "No problem, man."_

Ryan lay back down, rolling onto his back under the covers. His mother's voice echoed in his mind. _"Why couldn't you save him?"_ Ryan groaned, rolling onto his stomach and burying his face into the pillow. The Cohens pressuring him, his mom calling him, his own overwhelming guilt – he couldn't take it anymore.

_Even after the circumstances that Seth had first met Trey, Ryan brought him back again, and much to his surprise, the two clicked. Sure, Trey thought Seth was a bit more than bizarre and Seth was a bit more than intimidated by Trey, but they put up with each other for Ryan's sake._

_Weeks passed, with Seth and Ryan going to visit Trey on the weekends. Trey never came to Casa Cohen, in fear of Sandy and Kirsten finding out about him. But after a month and a half of them questioning the boys on where they went every Saturday, Ryan decided it was time to fess up. Surprisingly though, they didn't seem to mind very much._

"_Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Sandy asked, setting down his fork to look at Ryan after he had casually broken the dinner table silence with the statement that Trey was out of jail and Seth and Ryan had been visiting him._

_Ryan shrugged, "I thought you guys wouldn't want me to see him or something."_

"_Oh, Ryan, we would never not want you to see your brother," Kirsten said, sounding very surprised and almost a little hurt that Ryan would ever think that. "I think it's good that you two can be together again."_

_Sandy nodded in agreement. "And you've met him too Seth?"_

_Seth nodded and then shrugged. "He's cool." _

_Sandy made a small 'imagine that' noise before going back to his dinner. Ryan and Seth glanced at each other. That was easy._

---

**A lot of reviews to reply to this chapter. So, here we go…**

**selly1987:** Lol, don't we all love angsty Ryan? And you'll have a lot to look forward to, the next chapter will be very, very, angsty. Thanks so much for reviewing!

**skankyxxinnuendo:** Yeah, that might be something hard to change, lmao. I never intended to make Kirsten overly-motherly, but I somehow did. Am I the only one that finds it really annoying? Haha. And lmao about Marissa, I don't love her either and I'll definitely take your suggestion into consideration, hehe.

**princesssparkles8: **Glad to hear it! Thanks so much for taking the time to review, I hope you keep reading!

**princess89:** Heh, I liked the Star Wars reference too, it seemed like a very Seth-thing to say. Thanks for your review!

**jhhhhjfjk89:** Thanks! And might I say, you have a very odd screenname, lol.

**Jackie:** Ah, you were one of my old readers? I'm so glad you like it, thanks for reviewing!

**iheartsethcohen:** Thanks so much, it's fun to write angst because I'm really not an angsty person. I just hope I'm doing it right, hehe.

**swenglish:** Thanks for being a loyal reviewer! And yes, the reviews really perk me up, when I logged on and saw how many I had, I immediately started writing this chapter. Glad to know that you like it!

**BlueAngelEyes:** Lol, thank you so much. I find Seth the one of the easier characters to write for, in comparison to Ryan, who's really hard to keep in character. But I really have a lot of fun trying to make Seth as cute and quirky as he is in the show. Thanks for reviewing! 

**And that's all the reviews I have to respond to, thanks so much to every one of you, it really means so much to me. And double thanks to everyone who has put this in their favorites or story alert, I'm really surprised that you all think it's good enough, lol. **

**Keep up the reviews you guys! Because, remember, a reviewed author is a happy author! **


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes from the author:** So sorry about the long wait for this chapter guys, I really hadn't intended this to take so long. But it's an extra-long chapter for y'all, hopefully to tide you over to chapter eight (Chapter eight! Wow! I never expected this story to go so long!). Not much to say up here, more author's notes at the bottom.

**Disclaimer:** I am in no way affiliated with The OC, or anything else for that matter. So please don't sue, I don't have much to give except for six tattered Harry Potter books and a fat rabbit.

**Pairings:** Ryan/Marissa, maybe some Seth/Summer and Kirsten/Sandy – no fluff.

**Rating:** T for language and violence

**Summary:** The death of Ryan's brother, Trey, sparks a domino effect that will alter the Cohen's lives forever.

**My Elusive Drug**

_Chapter Seven_

_Another month passed. Ryan and Seth visited Trey at least twice a week, and though they told Summer and Marissa about where they were going, Ryan wanted to wait a little more time before letting them meet his brother. He didn't know who he was being more protective of by that decision, Marissa or Trey._

_Life had taken a different turn for Ryan. For the first time in a while, he was angst-free... for the most part... his relationship with Marissa was better than it had ever been and he finally had the strong relationship with Trey that he had missed from their childhood years. He knew that Trey still did drugs a couple times a week, and more than once, he and Seth had stumbled in on a very stoned Atwood, but Ryan let Trey's business be his own business. He trusted his brother._

_He soon found out how very wrong he had been._

_Ryan knew something was up by the strange and hesitant way Trey was acting when Ryan and Seth arrived that Saturday afternoon. Every few minutes, he would glance at Ryan, opening and closing his mouth like a fish, as if he had something that he wanted to say but didn't know how to put it, then would seem to think better of it and look away. _

_"Spit it out, Trey," Ryan finally said after this had happened five or six times._

_"Huh what?" Trey asked, turning to look at Ryan, feigning innocence. Seth glanced up, his eyes flickering between the brothers._

_"You obviously have something to say," Ryan responded as he crossed his arms. "What's up, man?"_

_"Uh...," Trey scratched the back of his head fondly and stood up, putting a hand on his hip and running the other through his hair as he wandered around to the back of the sofa. He sighed. "I'm in some trouble, Ry; I owe some guys some money."_

_Ryan paused, his eyebrows furrowing. "How much?"_

_Trey smirked ironically, turning away. "Ooh boy," he chucked to himself, not believing he was coming to his little brother for this. "Five thousand," he finally said, glancing at Ryan for his reaction._

_Ryan was taken aback. "Five thousand?" he repeated, dumbfounded. "What could you have possibly done to owe them five thousand?"_

_"Look, does it really matter?" Trey said, holding his hands out in a defensive gesture._

_"Yeah Trey, I would say it does matter!" Ryan responded forcefully._

_"You're all rich now, livin' in Newport! Big fancy house, I'm sure your new family can scrape up five grand!" Trey jeered. _

_"Oh, is that it?" snapped Ryan. "You've only been hanging out with me to get some money from the Cohen's?"_

_Trey ignored this question. "You're a great brother Ry," he sneered sarcastically. "You didn't used to be like this, it used to be no questions -"_

_"You're saying I'm not being a good brother?" Ryan exclaimed. _

_"I'm sure Mom and Dad could get the money," Seth interjected quietly._

_"Stay out of this Seth," Ryan snapped harshly and the boy quieted, looking hurt._

_"He doesn't have to stay out of it," Trey said loudly, pointing a finger towards Seth while glaring at Ryan. "He gets the idea, right Seth?" Trey's head snapped in the boy's direction._

_Seth looked clearly uncomfortable being stuck in the middle of this. "I... I... uh..."_

_"Leave him out of this, Trey!" Ryan blurted. "This isn't about him!"_

_"Then what's it about Ryan!" hollered Trey, taking a few steps towards his younger brother. _

_"It's about you!" Ryan snapped, gesturing towards Trey with an open palm. "And all this shit you're doing! What's this five grand about, Trey, huh? You've been doing more drugs? What's it this time? Heroin? Crack? You dealing? Is that it? You squelch someone out of a deal?"_

_Trey's nostril's flared. "You didn't seem to have a problem with what I did with my life last week!"_

_"Yeah, well I guess I was wrong, wasn't I!" Ryan turned on his heel, stomping towards the door and yanking it open. "Seth." He held the door open slightly for the other boy to pass through. Seth didn't move; only let his eyes stare back and forth between Ryan and Trey. "Seth," Ryan said again, fiercer. Seth waited another second before standing to his feet and walking past Ryan. _

_"Ryan, wait," Trey said, his voice weaker... almost desperate. Ryan paused halfway out the door, and turned to look at his brother. "You don't know what these guys can do," Trey persisted. "Man, they're gonna kill me if I don't give 'em this money before the end of the week!"_

_Ryan paused, looking almost contemplative before locking his eyes with Trey. "That's your problem." He slammed the door behind him._

Half under his blanket, almost asleep, Ryan shivered. He cracked his eyes open a bit, the blue pools falling on the open window on the opposite wall. He must have forgotten to close it. Rolling out of bed, the teen swayed tiredly over towards the window, still unnerved about the phone call from his mother he had received fifteen minutes before. _Why couldn't you save him?_

The window was closed, but the pool house was still chilly. Pulling open a drawer in the wardrobe next to him, Ryan reached for a sweatshirt when his eyes landed on the photograph of Trey, smiling up at him from the dresser top. Ryan narrowed his eyes, grabbing the frame and throwing it forcefully into the garbage next to him. His ears rang with the sound of the glass shattering.

_Trey's voice sounded scared on the phone. "Please, Ry, th-they're... I - they're gonna kill me, Ry."_

_Ryan felt his heart skip a beat, all anger and mistrust towards his brother flushed out of his mind. "Trey, what's going on?"_

_In the background, he could hear loud, clunking footsteps as Trey ran down the hallway of his apartment. "I'm getting out, they-they know where I live, it's Johnny, he told them - he... they're comin' for me, man."_

_"What happened, Trey? Why are they after you?" At these words, Seth perked up from across the room, game controller still in his hand as he sat cross-legged in front of the television._

_"Man, I gave them their fucking money!" Trey exclaimed. "I - we were using a middleman, Johnny, he - he was supposed to deliver it -," the slamming of a door as Trey ran out of the building and onto the sidewalk, "- but he musta ran off with it... man, I don't know what to do... Ry, help me, please."_

_Ryan broke all speed limits and must have run at least three red lights, nearly causing an accident on the third. Seth sat next to him, fidgeting nervously, five thousand dollars in cash in his pocket from their record-breaking stop at the ATM machine. It was a blessing Sandy and Kirsten had been invited out to dinner that night._

_They were going to meet Trey at the 7/11 off of Alden Street. There, they would give him the money, then he would call whoever he needed to, deliver the money, and go on his way. Ryan just prayed they weren't too late._

_He pulled the Range Rover to a jerking halt in the parking lot of the convenience store, the red and green lights of the neon sign above the door casting an eerie glow. Trey was nowhere in sight. Pulling the keys out of the ignition, Ryan climbed hastily out of the car, looking around wildly, his heart thumping in his chest. "Trey?"_

_Then he heard it. The loud grunt from the alleyway behind the building. Ryan took off in a run, adrenaline pumping through his system like a drug; he could hear Seth's hard footsteps and panting breaths a few feet behind him. _

_There were five of them, and they had Trey backed up into a corner formed by the chain link fence and the hard green dumpster. "Hey!" Ryan's voice echoed loudly, and the men raining blows onto his brother stopped and looked up. "Get away from him."_

_The one that seemed to be their leader strolled cockily over towards Ryan, his breath smelling like rotten eggs as he breathed in Ryan's face. "Man, what'chu want?"_

_Ryan glared. "I said get away from him, you asshole." ..._fuck...shouldn't have said that..._, he thought fondly before the man's fist connected harshly with the side of his face, sending him wheeling towards the ground, barely having the time to throw his hands out to brace himself for the hard connection with the dirty cement._

_A shoe connected with his stomach, knocking the wind out of him and forcing him to gasp for air as a strangled grunt of pain escaped. "You made a big mistake comin' down here, boy."_

_An "oof" reached his ears as one of the cronies left Trey to send Seth sprawling to the ground with one hard punch._

_"Yeah?" Ryan said, raising a hand to wipe at the blood that dripped from his nose. "And you made a big mistake messing with my brother." Swinging his foot around, he made a connection with the man's knee, and he let out a cry of pain, falling next to Ryan on the ground and giving the teen enough time to jump to his feet._

_Seth was fairing... not so well, but Trey was much worse, as one man pummeled the punches and kicks and the remaining two advanced on Ryan. _

_The fight was brutal, and Ryan was soon on the ground again, already feeling bruising forming on his face and a possible cracked rib or two from the continuous kicks he received. The men were laughing, finally backing up to look at the destruction they created. Ryan could feel Seth's presence a few feet away, not bothering to look to see if the boy was conscious or not. Letting out a pained groan, he rolled onto his back from the fetal position his body had unconsciously curled in to, feeling the already-drying blood sticky on his face._

_Ignoring the dizzying and spinning world around him, he pushed himself into a half-sitting position, blinking rapidly to try to clear his eyesight, fighting to stay conscious._

_"Aw, man, look at this, guys," rang the voice of the ringleader. "This fool wants some m-"_

_"No, stop," Ryan interrupted hoarsely, holding up a hand._

_The leader strolled over towards him as the cronies laughed; grabbing a fistful of Ryan's hair, he jerked his head up painfully. Out of the corner of his eye, Ryan could see Trey's form slumped against the fence. "What's that boy? You had enough?"_

_Ryan grimaced. "I have your fucking money," he snapped, jerking his hair out of the strong grasp. Scurrying back a few feet, he allowed a glance towards Seth. His mouth and chin were covered with dried blood from his nose, and a black eye was already forming, but the teen was conscious, and struggling to sit up, clearly dazed and disoriented._

_"Your stupid, fucking drug money," Ryan repeated. "I have it, okay?"_

_The man paused, before taking a few steps backwards, towards Trey. "Oooh, you hear that boys?" he asked, grinning at his cronies. "He has our stupid, fucking drug money." They laughed._

_He had pulled out a gun, a small silver handgun, and was now pointing it at Trey, his glinting eyes still trained on Ryan. Trey was only semi-conscious, his face bloody, nose obviously broken, struggling to crawl away but hardly strong enough to sit up._

_Ryan's eyes widened. "No, stop, I said I have your money, okay!" Scrambling over towards Seth, Ryan reached a hand into the teen's pocket, ignoring his soft, incoherent mutter of something that sounded like, "I don't swing that way..."_

_"Here, here's your money," Ryan exclaimed, pulling out a large wad of hundred-dollar bills and waving it in the air. "Stop it, okay?"_

_"Man, I gave this motherfucker a week to deliver this money... this money that he swore -," Click. He cocked the gun, "- he had."_

_"No! Stop!" Ryan exclaimed, his voice rising as he gave the money another shake. "You don't want to do this -"_

_He was interrupted by the sounds of loud, wailing sirens, not too far away. All heads turned towards the 7/11, and though the back door, a figure quickly ducked to the side. _

_"Man, the motherfucker called the cops!" One of the lackeys cried, looking distressed._

_"Slim," another one added, "we gotta jet, now!"_

_The wailing got louder and the pack turned on their heels, climbing up and over the fence. Slim still had the gun on Trey. "Slim, man, let's go!" one of them hissed through the fence. _

_Slim's eyes glinted. The sirens were getting louder; Ryan could see flashes of red and blue in the distance. He was going to back down, everything would be okay._

_Bang. _

_The bullet hit Trey straight in the chest, a perfect shot. Someone yelled "NO!", but it wasn't until Slim was up and over the fence, running after his group that Ryan realized it had been him._

---

**Oh my, that was intense, wasn't it? I hadn't realized how much so until I just proof-read it. Hee. That was fun.**

**So, that's about the end of the flashbacks, though if needed be I might add one in here or there. But now that we know how/why Trey died and such, the story can develop more.**

**Thanks to all the reviews, and to everyone who has listed this as a favorite story, or me as a favorite author – it's so flattering. **

**Please keep the reviews coming guys, getting them is what inspires me to write more, it's really true. And until next time, remember – a reviewed author is a happy author.**


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